This Can't Be Happening!
by Ohhh My My Ambrose
Summary: Randy,Cody,and Ted are lost in the middle of nowhere after their car dies. When they try to get some help in a creepy fishing village,the three wrestlers are thrust into a nightmare.One of them will be forced to mate with Cthulhu's sister!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any WWE characters. I do not own any Lovecraft characters either.**

"Jeeesussss Christ!" yelled Randy Orton as he kicked the rental car. "This is just sooo fucking precious!"

It isn't necessary for you to blame the savior."

"Ted, I'm not in the mood for your pious pretentiousness at this juncture!"

"Ooh such big words. I get it. You passed preschool."

Randy was really pissed. He took a step towards Dibiase, but Cody placed himself between the two of them. "Stop this crap right now. You are both acting like teenage girls with PMS.

"I'm gonna try to start this stupid Cruiser again." growled Ted as he stomped towards the driver's side door.

Randy busied himself with trying his cell phone for the millionth time. No dice. He shoved it back in his jeans pocket and spat on the ground for the hell of it. He looked over at Cody who was attempting to get a signal on his phone. Cody shook his head at Randy and put his phone away.

"Fuuuuckinggg great!"

"Randy, stop your tantrum. We can still try Ted's phone." Cody, in all honesty, didn't really have high hopes for that plan either.

The two wrestlers trudged over to the red vehicle. They borrowed Dibiase's Droid phone while he continued to try the ignition. His cell did not work either. Strike three.

"Well this thing isn't starting." said Ted practically whining. He stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut with all of his might.

"Temper, temper." wheedled Randy. Ted flashed him a hateful look.

Cody rolled his eyes and started walking down the deserted dirt road that they had gotten themselves lost on. "Care to join me in finding someone who can help us, or are you guys just gonna stay and throw fits? called The Dashing One over his shoulder.

Randy sighed and looked at Ted. "Come on." The two of them caught up with their buddy. His plan seemed to be their only option at this point.

"Well." thought Cody. This is what we get for daring to think we could go out for some fun after work."

The trio had finished matches in Boston that night. Since they had several days off afterwards, they had decided to rent a car and drive to an "off the beaten path" nightclub that they had heard was awesome. It was better than a boring night at the hotel moping about missing their wives, or in Cody's case, girlfriend. Disappointingly, the built in GPS system had stopped working, and they ended up lost in a remote area of Massachusetts. To make matters worse, the car had died in the middle of nowhere.

Cody's thoughts were interrupted when Ted said, "Look over there."

Cody and Randy looked in the direction their friend was pointing. They saw a ratty looking sign that read, Kingsport 2 miles.

"Ok, so we'll head to Kingsport. Maybe we can get someone to tow the Cruiser, and direct us to a phone." Randy hoped aloud.

The three young wrestlers walked the two miles into the creepiest looking village any of them had ever seen.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own any WWE or Lovecraft characters.**

Randy was observing the decrepit looking buildings where there appeared to be no signs of life. "Okayyyy. So much for getting help with the car."

"Yeah this is obviously a five star seaside resort." joked Ted.

"Maybe we can try one of these buildings and see if there's a working phone." said Cody, and he shivered because he had a feeling they were being watched. Even the black, unmoving water of the ocean seemed menacing.

The guys walked towards the building in front of them. Without warning, the front door was thrown open and three strange looking people, two of them male, stepped out.

Ted was the first to speak. "Well hello. We are so sorry to intrude, but we are very lost, and our car is dead. Could we possibly use your phone? Our cells have died."

"No phone." said the woman as she brushed some bangs away from her eyes with her fingers.

Cody could not help but notice that she had webbed fingers. He tried not to stare. "Ok. Is there an auto body shop around here?"

His question was met with hateful glaring. These people were actually glaring at him.

"Codes. Let's just go." said Randy who had noticed the looks they were all getting.

One of the bizarre men trained his eyes on Randy and would not look away. The Viper wasn't about to back down from a staring contest, but he was startled when the guy gave him an evil looking smile that exposed his teeth. The teeth were razor sharp and abnormal looking. "What the hell?"

Mr. Teeth licked his lips as he continued to stare at Randy. "He do fine!" said the weirdo.

"They fine also!" stated the webbed woman pointing at Ted and Cody.

That was enough for Ted. "We're out of here." He turned to leave and the other two wrestlers followed his lead. He suddenly felt a pinch like something had bitten him in the neck. Everything around him became a blur.

The last blurred vision before Dibiase blacked out was Cody and Randy staggering, then falling towards the ground.

**I'm new to this site, and not sure if there is an easier way to edit typos. I found that to do so, I had to delete chapter one, fix the error in my file, then redownload. This caused the reviews to disappear. So, I apologize to those of you that were kind enough to review chapter 1. I really appreciated those comments.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own any WWE or Lovecraft characters.**

**Be warned-sick and twisted activities ahead. **

Cody awoke to the sound of chanting. The source of the chanting was about two dozen people whom he assumed were townsfolk. Some were men, and some were women. He couldn't really make out much more in the dark. Unfortunately, Cody was tightly bound to something, his legs and arms spread apart. In fact, his legs were spread widely apart, and he knew he was naked.

"This one awake." Rhodes heard a man say. A few others came forward with large, thick twigs that were ablaze. In the firelight, he noticed the lady with the webbed hands. She grabbed his penis and he winced. "Get. Your. Fucking. Hand. Off. Of. Me." He said through gritted teeth.

She responded by licking the tip of his member. Cody cringed and writhed in his bindings. "Stop it!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. He heard the protests of his friends.

Ted was shouting for their captors to get their filthy hands off of Cody, while Randy was using every nasty cuss word known to man.

Rhodes glanced to his left and right, and saw that his friends were each naked and bound to a stone circular object. He assumed that he was attached to one of those objects as well.

"They awake now." someone said, and about ten more torches were lit brightening the area so that the three wrestlers could get a decent look at the villagers.

"God help us." said Ted as he got a good look at the townspeople. Cody simply closed his eyes. Randy stared, eyes wide in horror. Now, all three of them were writhing and struggling in their bonds.

Their tormentors each sported a reptilian or fish like deformity. Some had both.

All three prisoners had the same horrifying thought. They were going to be raped by fish people. Randy, Ted, and Cody each prayed that they were having a nightmare and would awaken from the terror soon.

A man with just two long, monstrous looking fingers reached behind Ted and shoved his digits into Dibiase's anus. Ted screamed at the top of his lungs, while Cody and Randy were helpless to do anything. Randy looked away as the fingers were yanked from Ted's behind. Dibiase wanted to crawl into a hole and die. He tried not to cry in front of his friends, but the tears were forming.

"Is good." said two fingers.

The eyes of the villagers fell on Randy. "No fucking way! Stay away from me! Don't touch me!" He could not get himself loose no matter how hard he struggled, and he bellowed in frustration.

Five of the creatures began molesting The Viper. They touched and rubbed him everywhere they could. They licked him too. Randy began to sob in humiliation when someone shoved their tongue in his ass.

"Good breeding stock all of them" gurgled a man with a face like The Creature FromThe Black Lagoon.

"Yesssss." hissed another. "She will be pleased."

Cody figured that the she they referred to was probably another fish person. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

Cody and Ted heard Randy moan what they were both thinking. "This can't be happening."

**If you are grossed out by octopi and/or squid, you may not want to continue. This is based on Lovecraftian horror, so don't judge me. Lol.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have no ownership of WWE or Lovecraft characters. **

The townspeople were now on their knees, facing the ocean, and chanting something incomprehensible. Randy, ever the defiant one, was yelling during the chants. "You ugly, fuckin' people! You're all crazy." One of the men rose and punched Randy in the gut. This succeeded in silencing The Legend Killer, who was now groaning, and gasping for air.

Ted was looking around trying to find some means of escape. He realized that they were all on some sort of metal platform that hung directly over the ocean. Cody still had his eyes closed, and his lips were moving. Ted guessed that the young man was praying.

Suddenly the chanting stopped short. An older looking fish man, dressed in a robe with strange designs, stood up and lifted his arms above his head. His "congregation" rose and stood behind him. "Kassogtha! Sister and mate to our master Cthulhu! We beg you to come forth!"

"What in the hell?" thought Cody as he finally opened his eyes. Ted was just surprised that one of these…things was speaking in complete sentences. Randy wanted to ask who the fuck Kassogtha was, but kept quiet. He didn't want another punch to his stomach when he could not defend himself.

"Oh great Kassogtha, we offer you these three gifts." With that statement, the wrestlers looked at one another, panic in their eyes. The "priest" continued, "Choose your mate almighty one!"

Randy could keep quiet no longer, "What the hell are you talking about fish face? Mate? What the hell do you mean?"

Ted believed he knew exactly what that meant and hoped with all of his might that he was wrong.

Cody couldn't stop wondering why the congregation was staring out at the sea while they called for this Kassogtha lady.

There was a change in the air. Everything seemed unearthly quiet. The water stirred, then slowly grew to waves that were crashing against the platform. The crazies were holding hands and humming. Something dark and massive seemed to be at the surface of the water. It slowly rose toward the platform, and flung its tentacles over the edge.

The "gifts" watched in horror as these tentacles (so many tentacles) pulled the gigantic mass of its body onto the platform. The fish people were still humming, but they had dropped hands, and moved far back to give their deity room. The god awful thing slid slowly toward the three frightened wrestlers, and it squelched as it moved across the metal. The damn creature seemed to be made of tentacles!

"She will choose now!" shouted fish priest. The thing lifted a tentacle, and it hovered over Cody. It slowly lowered, and Rhodes felt the slippery mess sliding over his body. He bit his lower lip to keep from crying out as the tentacle caressed his dick. Just at the point when Cody thought he would vomit, Kossagtha's arm slithered over to Ted. "Please God, help us!" Ted cried as the monster caressed him. He and Cody both had tears streaming down their faces. The monstrosity took a turn at Randy, who screamed, "Don't you touch me!" Kassogtha felt her way over Randy's fit and muscled body, then let her tentacle hover in the air again.

"Choose Kassogtha choose!" chanted her worshipers. And, choose she did.

She wrapped four of her long, slimy tentacles around…..


	5. Chapter 5

**I have no ownership of WWE or Lovecraftian characters. Warning-this is going to get ugly. There will be rape.**

…Randy.

Ted winced as Randy screamed in terror. "Get off of him!" Ted yelled. "Get off, get off ,get mmph!" One of the women had shoved a black cloth in his mouth and tied it at the back of his head.

Cody on the other hand, was simply screaming. No words, just screams. In seconds, he was gagged as well.

Randy was no longer the tough guy. He begged the monster to get off of him. He pleaded for the thing to leave him alone. The hellish heap of sliminess wrapped a tentacle around his head and shoved it in Randy's mouth. He choked and wretched behind the makeshift gag, and his eyes were wide with terror. The thing in his mouth was salty and disgusting, and he worried that he'd choke on his own vomit because he would surely puke.

Kassogtha caressed her chosen mate. She played with his penis, and she shoved a tentacle into his anus where she jabbed at his prostate. In addition, she caressed the top of his head. Through it all, Randy was whimpering and crying, the tears just pouring down his face. This beast did not seem to mind the fact that Randy's prick was flaccid (from disgust and fear). She lifted her huge body, exposing a large orifice under all of the slime. Randy struggled with every ounce of energy that he had, to no avail. He was bound too tightly to escape, and the grotesqueness on top of him was impossibly strong. Kassogtha lowered herself onto his member and began pumping her body up and down. The Viper was surprised that he hadn't yet passed out. He closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see the thing that was sodomizing him.

The rape seemed to go on for hours. Randy thought he might have a heart attack because his heart was pounding so fast. He was almost to the point of praying for one. Finally, Kossagtha made a deep growling sound, sprayed her juices on her victim, and crawled off of him. She then threw herself off of the platform, and sank into the ocean. The wrestler opened his eyes and lay there hyperventilating and staring into space. He was completely broken.

Ted and Cody had witnessed everything. Their captors had forced them to observe Randy's nightmare molestation. When Ted tried to close his eyes, one of the villagers painfully forced them open. As Cody turned his head to look away, his face was grabbed, pushed back, and held tightly so that he had no choice but to view the scene that was unfolding. Both of the men silently wept for their friend.

Randy looked at his weeping, bound and gagged compatriots. He softly said in between sobs, "They will probably kill us now."


	6. Chapter 6

**I own no WWE or Lovecraftian characters.**

Ted was knocked unconscious by a fist smashing into his face. When he came to, Cody and Randy were with him in some sort of vast, barren room. The Viper and The Dashing One must have been pummeled into oblivion as well, the marks on their faces proving that point. Dibiase headed straight for the door. It wouldn't budge. In addition, there were no windows. The three friends were locked securely in.

"Hey, look over there." Cody had noticed a sack in one of the dark corners. Randy paid no attention. He was lying on the floor, in the fetal position, shaking uncontrollably. Cody and Ted looked in the sack and found all of their clothes. The two of them dressed, but kept glancing at Randy. He was talking to himself saying, "No,no,no,no…" over and over again. "Rand." said Cody gently. "You're shivering buddy. Don't you want your clothes? Rand?" Ted sat down next to The Viper and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Randy jerked away from Ted, "Please don't touch me."

Cody set Randy's clothes next to him on the floor. "We aren't going to hurt you buddy." He doubted that his friend would ever feel safe again. Let's give him some space Ted." Rhodes took Dibiase's arm and guided him to another part of the room.

"Teddy, we've got to get out of here. Who knows what those things will do next. What if they call that monster back? Oh my God, what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know Codes, but we have to keep it together for Randy. You and I might be scared out of our minds right now, but that's nothing compared to what he's been through."

"What do you think they are planning on doing with us now?"

"I'm not sure that I really want to know that Cody."

"I'm so cold." they heard Randy say. When they turned to him, they saw that he was putting his clothes on.

"Hang in there buddy." said Ted. "I don't care what happens to me, I'm not letting any of these freaks, or that octopus thing, touch you again."

"Me either." stated Cody. In all honesty, he didn't think they could do anything about it, but they'd surely try.

Randy was fully dressed now and sat cross legged while he stared down at the floor. He had wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and was rocking back and forth. "I'm a weak piece of shit." he thought. "I shouldn't have been allowed to live." He was so ashamed that he thought he might drown in his own self pity. If he had been able to take a shower, he would have used steel wool to get all traces of Kassogtha off of his body.

Cody and Ted wished they could think of the perfect thing to do or say that would comfort their good friend. It was disheartening to see The Legend Killer reduced to such a broken state.

Suddenly, voices and footsteps were heard outside the room, and it sounded like the heavy door was being unlatched.

Randy screamed in horror, and practically dived into the corner, pressing himself against the wall. "She's coming for me again! Don't let her take me! Please help me! Don't let her take me!" The terrified wrestler pressed himself harder against the corner of the wall and pulled his knees to his chest. He wanted to make himself smaller.

Ted and Cody stood directly in front of the whimpering and cringing Viper, determined to protect hm.

The door of their prison was flung open.


	7. Chapter 7

**I own no WWE or Lovecraft characters.**

Five male villagers entered the room. Each had a club in their hand. Ted sucked in a breath, "Please don't kill us." He wanted to see his beautiful wife. He wanted to see the birth of his first child. In addition, he wanted to live to see his parents and brothers again. Cody was wondering whether he'd ever see his family again as well. He asked, "What are your plans for us?"

"We keep you now. Later, maybe kill, maybe keep forever." said one of the men.

"Nooo." Randy wailed. "Please do anything at all you want to me, anything, but let them go. Please, I'm begging you. I'm begging. Ok? Let them go."

Cody and Ted looked at Randy in shock. "We ain't leaving you buddy." said Ted. Rhodes added, "That's right. We stick together."

"I'm not worth it guys. Just leave me here to rot or die."

"Randy, God damnit! That's enough! snapped Ted, Think about Samantha and Alanna!" This was enough to shake The Viper out of his self pity and self hatred. Randy knew that he had to focus on thinking about his wife and little girl. He wondered though if he could face either of them after what had happened.

"You shut mouths now." ordered another of the fishlike men. The three captives got quiet.

Yet another of the men turned and signaled to whoever was outside the door. The clubbed villagers stepped aside as three women entered. They were each carrying a tray with bread and water which they set on the floor. When the captives eyed the trays suspiciously, the women each took sips of water from the tray that they had carried in. Then the females took a bite out of the loaves on their trays. "See." one of them said. "No poison. You no die. Eat. Drink." With that, the townspeople left the room, latching the door behind them.

Ted and Cody sat in front of the trays. Cody slid the third tray over to Randy. The three were hungry and thirsty, so they took to what was on their trays whole heartedly. Cody remarked. "Such a fitting feast. We are being held prisoner. Isn't this what they served prisoners in the olden days?" Ted answered, "That's what I was thinking."

Once the captive friends were finished with their trays, they tried to comfort one another by telling jokes and sharing funny stories. They were huddled together giggling at a story Randy was telling (about a time when Alanna had pulled Alberto Del Rio's trunks down while trying to get his attention) when the door was unlatched and thrown open for the second time. The fish priest entered, still in his robe. He spoke clearly and coherently. "Kassogtha knows all." He pointed at Ted. "She knows of your unborn child." The priest looked at Randy. "She knows of your wife and little child."

The wrestlers were filled with dread when they heard the priest refer to their precious families. However, they listened intently as he continued. "Gift Randy, you are Kassogtha's mate. She will allow you to go home, but will come for you when she and the offspring need you. We may come for you also, if that is what she desires. Know that she will mate with you again if that is her wish. You should be honored that she has taken to you." The priest left the room. Randy felt that he would actually faint like a little girl after hearing the fish man's horrifying words.

The door was wide open, yet there wasn't time to react as some sort of gas was sprayed into the room. Randy heard his friends coughing and gagging as he slowly blacked out. His last thought before the gas completely overtook him was, "She'll come and take me again."


	8. Chapter 8

**I have no ownership of any characters from Lovecraft, or the WWE.**

Randy, Ted, and Cody found themselves inside their rental car, and parked at a rest stop near a main, busy highway. It was morning. "What the,,,?" mused Ted.

"Apparently they brought us here while we were unconscious." Cody wasn't so dumb as to think that last night was a dream. Neither was Ted, "Well they must have fixed the car if they were able to bring us here." Randy broke his silence from the back seat. "Let's get the hell out of here." Dibiase happily turned the ignition. Thankfully, the engine roared to life. "Turn right." said the robotic voice on the GPS.

Randy was in his hotel room's bathroom for a very long time. He was determined to wash that Kassogtha bitch right off of him. The Viper didn't think there was enough soap in the world. As he toweled himself dry, two hours after getting in the shower, he wondered if he could live with what he knew. They had decided not to tell a soul about what had gone down. Nothing could be proven because the three of them had no idea how to get back to the village. People would probably think the three of them had gone bonkers. Besides, Randy never wanted to see that place as long as he lived. _She'll_ _come for you_. Randy attempted to push the nightmarish memories to the back of his mind. He tried to think pleasant thoughts. The Bahamas! He'd think about his upcoming trip to The Bahamas with Samantha and Alanna. The Legend Killer loved that place, with its gorgeous beaches and clear water. Water. The ocean. The sea. Randal Keith Orton began to tremble. What was he going to tell his wife when he would no longer go near the water? Nope. He would go nowhere near the ocean ever again. _She will_ _mate with you, if that is her wish_. Orton decided that his family was going to Yellowstone National Park for this year's vacation, not The Bahamas.

**I hope you've enjoyed the story.**


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